The Spirit of Education Future visits the Powers-at-be 2017

Were you on Nick’s naughty or nice list in 2017? Respectful of all the serious, current news and that of the past year, this is a lighthearted look back at some of the stories. With a touch of Dickens, ‘The Spirit of Education Future’ looks forwards into 2018 with the Powers-at-Be at the Department for Education (DfE) and at what may still be changed.


The Spirit of Education Future visits the Powers-at-be 
(To the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas)

[click to open music in another window]

On the first day of Christmas, 
the Spirit said to me 
I’m the ghost of the classroom TA.

On the second day of Christmas, 
the Spirit said to me: 
too few staff I heard, and AI in the classroom, I see.

On the third day of Christmas, the Spirit said to me:
 You told our Heads,
 academies or free,
 not a coasting or zombie school be.

On the fourth day of Christmas 
the Spirit said, I hear: 
“Save our special needs”,
 SRE yes please, 
Guidance we all need. 
Don’t blame our hungry pupils on us please.

On the fifth day of Christmas , 
the Spirit said to me:
 PlanmoreEx-ams?
 Measure them from four,
 age seven SATS no more, Marks failed? blame the Boards.
 Can’t imagine why there’s more anxiety.

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
the Spirit said to me: parents are revolting,
 Free—schools—ka-ching!
 No more Bright Tribe Trust,
 look at all the fuss,
 when the deals go bust
. Why the parents don’t want more’s a mystery.

On the seventh day of Christmas, 
the Spirit said, dear Staff:
 actually we’re leading,
 Pisa says they’re reading
, social—mobility’s—the thing!, 
Yes cadets want ’em too,
 Nash out for Agnew,
 Training, what to do? Name and shame surely won’t affect you.

On the eighth day of Christmas, 
the Spirit said to me:
 Faith schools resisting; 
No more segregation,
 Ofsted’s machine learning, 
Hijabs—not—for—kids? 
Brit’ values we’ll impose,
 Why though no one knows,
 Trojan Horse was closed. Snooping parents’ social med-ia’s silly.

On the ninth day of Christmas
, the Spirit said to me: 
 need cash to push reforming,
 retention and performing
, agencies appalling,
 lost majority how galling,
 Schoolcuts—says—we’re—*/#!/d!
, Behaviour problems licked,
 Bring in glue sticks quick,
 still teachers love the gig. Thank the stars for Varn-dean goats bleat-ing tweets.

On the tenth day of Christmas, the Spirit said to me: House of Lords a-leaping,
 Johnson’s not been sleeping,
 paychecks ever growing
, Student debt is soaring,
 Numbers? immigration,
 Accelerate—de—grees!
 Brexit means inflation,
 T-levels save a nation,
 FE legislation. Need to rethink the ‘prenticeship’s lev-y.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Spirit said to me: 
 Campaign groups are griping, records you’ve been swiping, 
identifying detail
, children are not retail
, sharing it for mining,
 Market intel, dashboards
, Nat—ion—al—ity!
 Star Chamber secret board
, minutes we shall hoard,
 see ABC in court,
 Refuse retract resist say Lib-ert-y.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Spirit said to me: fine them for exclusions, 
fair funding, cuts? delusions,
 Won’t someone fix the workload, 
MATS gag Heads they offload,
 Grades all re-arranging, Homelessness is raging, Staff all need more pay-ing,
 All—this—to—come!
 Ban phones, just absurd,
 Accountability’s the word, Regulation first.
 What’s the plan to save our children dear Justine?


And here’s what we’ve been up to in the second half of autumn term working for safe, fair and transparent pupil data, and a look ahead to 2018.

Happy New Year.